Spa music was the backdrop to this morning’s proceedings.
Our breakfast preparations were accompanied by tweeting sounds if little birds, waves from the ocean and the resounding hum of a Buddha bowl…
Usually we start the day with a fast beat to get everyone up and energised. Ara is known to spring out if bed and run backwards and forwards to the summer hits of Alvaro Soler. These are Ara’s favourites and she is the smallest so she wields the most power.
We all rush rush rush to get dressed and eat our food, and we quickly brush brush brush our teeth and hair before jumping into the car, speeding away down the narrow lanes to get to school ASAP.
But today I tried something different and the results were quite remarkable.
I decided to click on Spa music. I then, went into the girls’ bedroom and was greeted with sunny smiles. They got up and we all had a little chat, and decided what to eat, then put on our clothes, I loaded the dishwasher with last night’s plates and the pace was much much calmer.
I did move slower, but I felt less tense and much more focused. Everything felt much clearer… And easier!
The girls’ energy was equally attuned, less resistant to the normal questions and requests, that make up our daily morning routine.
“What would you like for breakfast?” is usually answered with “dunno”
“Can you put your socks and shoes on?” is usually answered by either completely ignoring the question or shouting “I don’t know where they are!!!”.
Today saw simple replies if “porridge” and “here they are!”
While I was preparing the oats I got a little glimpse of my alternative universe; the one I live out in my daydreams – where I am a benevolent mother who provides wholesome meals and is always attuned to her offsprings’ internal psychic battles. Never lashing out in frustration or fury; always centred and poised – a rock of stability and elegance.
At this point, I allowed myself a little chuckle, knowing that I would forever now be playing ‘spa’ music in the mornings as if I had found the secret key. The one that unlocks our family’s natural harmony and balance. The one I have been forever searching for in psychotherapy books and parenting forums – Only to notice that within a day we’d be at each other’s throats again with the sounds of tweeting birds and Buddha bowls chiming in our ears!
Life can be so cruel. But I am grateful for these little interims. And, despite my own cynicism, I will try to remember this sweet spot. The one where I do feel calmer and more attuned. And yes I will experiment with using spa music as a backdrop and other styles to complement and contrast, depending on our collective mood. And yes, I will very often, completely misjudge everything and fail miserably. But there will be moments where it works out quite nicely, like this morning.
A few hours later and I do still feel calmer than usual. Perhaps it is not so much to do with buddha bowls than it is having had a loving exchange with my 2 daughters, devoid of angry words?
Finding any kind of ‘discipline’ is a challenge. I like the idea of waking up and doing yoga, stretching, empowering, breathing deeply. But I also like the idea of laying in bed for as long as I can, especially if I have just met my great grand father in my dream and am about to solve some deep family tree mystery!
I do not like to be prescriptive in any parts of my life or others, however, I also believe in a certain amount of (self) discipline and ritual. Maybe rituals need to be adaptive and evolve over time, accommodating the ever changing whims of growing family members? Maybe buddha bowls really do hold the secret frequency of harmony?
I don’t know, but in the meantime I am grateful for this morning and as a token of my gratitude I will continue to strive for improvement in our quality of life, using sweet music (and bribes, when necessary).
Namaste : )